Stupid fake boyfriends
by notagoodplace4gods
Summary: Dick laughs again and it's so pretty Wally can't help but think that pretending to be in love with him won't be so difficult. (aka dick and wally pretend to date as elaborate prank and no one's really surprised)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I love the fake boyfriend's cliche so much I could marry it.

Mentions of child abuse and homofobia, but it's mostly fluff.

This is going to be a two shot. Not much happens in this first chapter, it's mostly to set the mood, and the pretend relationship starts only in the second chapter. Hope you like it, though.

xxx

Wally West loves Halloween and it's not just because he has no boring classes and he's able to go trick or treating in crazy costumes. Sure, he loves the costumes, the spooky decoration that turns his whole street into a scenery from a horror movie and he especially loves the candy, but these are not the only reasons he's so excited for this particular holiday. Okay, fine, to be truthful let's say 64% of his excitement is due to the candy, but there's _more._

The 36% left is totally not-candy related and all about Bruce Wayne being an ocean away on a business trip, letting Dick alone at the manor, which leaves the boy wonder free for a horror classic movies marathon followed by an amazing night of trick or treating. They coordinate costumes whenever they can, but this year is going to beat all other years because they've decided to go as each other.

Wally worked hard on his Robin costume. He lost a lot of time and a lot of blood, - _seriously,_ \- learning to sew with Joan Garrick. He complained about it non-stop to Dick, but carefully left out the fact that he has made a creative choice and decided to go with the green panties instead of the black pants because it's a surprise and because _how could he not._ He'll forever cherish the look on Dick's face when he sees him; it's going to be priceless and it's going to be worth the punch that's bound to follow the shock, so he's excited. He's probably a lot more excited than he should be.

"Hey, bro, are you coming?" He asks as soon as he answers the phone because he knows Dick's number by heart and, since the boy wonder is already two minutes late, he's expecting an apology.

The silence that follows his warm welcome is a bad sign and an "abort mission" siren goes off in his head.

"Hey, Walls, uh, I'm so sorry, but..."

Wally hangs up and just stares at his cell phone until it rings again.

"Hey, bro, are you on your way? Of course you are, we've been planning this night since _forever_ and you'd never bail on me like that because you know it's going to break my heart. So, here's what we're going to do; I'm hanging up on you again before you manage to apologize for not being able to come, so you'll have to come because making me wait is torture and inhuman and you would never do that to me, right?" Living in denial is comfortable.

"Wally." Dick says, and there's something about his voice, he sounds tired and disappointed and Wally can't do it. "There's a rumour going on about a major break from Arkham scheduled today, you know, to _celebrate Halloween."_ He sighs and Wally can practically hear him rolling his eyes. "I don't know where this rumour came from, but I can't ignore it. If it's true and the Joker, of all people, escapes and decides to go on a rampage, I…"

The 36% suddenly turns to 136% and the entire holiday loses its fun.

"I need to patrol." Dick says.

"I know, man." And Wally does, he knew it the moment he heard his best friend's voice. They are superheroes and it's a superhero's duty to protect its city no matter what. Superheroes do what's right instead of what's easy or convenient or _fun._ "I get it. I'm sorry for hanging up on you before, it's just that I was really excited about trick or treating with my best bro and I had the best Robin costume ever and ugh... I know I'm being selfish and stupid and just a horrible friend, sorry. Also, a horrible hero for not wanting you to patrol today and…"

"Do you wanna come patrolling with me?" Dick cuts him off before his words get superspeed.

"I thought Batman didn't want metahumans in Gotham." Wally raises an eyebrow and tries not to feel too hopeful.

"Batman isn't here now. He's like a thousand miles away from here, so..." Dick ends the sentence with a chuckle and Wally's back to super-excited-I-love-halloween-so-much mode.

"See you in fifteen." Wally hangs up and is on his Kid Flash uniform and ready to leave before the minute's done. He momentarily checks on his Robin costume with the corner of his eyes because he took so long to make it and it's perfect and now he won't get a chance to use it until next year's Halloween, but soon shrugs it off. He may not get to spend the holiday with Robin the way he planned, but he's still going to spend it with his best friend, so it's all good.

xxx

"Well, this is boring." Kid Flash's bored already and throws his hands up in the air in an exasperated and dramatic gesture. "Nothing's happening." He deactivates the infrared vision in his goggles and rolls on the glass, to move closer to where the boy wonder's laying.

"Dude, things not happening is normally good in our line of work." Robin smiles, but doesn't turn to him. "You're going to regret ever saying that if anything suddenly happens."

"You know that's not what I mean." He fights the need to pout, but fails, and Robin laughs, as if he has eyes on the back on his head, the bastard. "Gotham Rogues really did have an evil plan alright? Not, like, break-out-of-Arkham-evil, but they managed to royally screw up our night out and that sucks."

"I know, KF, but, you know what? I've just had an idea that will get us whelmed again, check it out." The grin on Robin's face gets even bigger when he turns his comm on. "Agent A? Can you take over Arkham's surveillance for a few hours? I'll hang around so call if anything happens and I'll be there."

"Dude!" Kid Flash blinks at him, amazed at what his best friend just did. He and Robin knew Alfred is more than capable of handling the surveillance from the batcave with the help of millions of cameras and motion/heat/infrared sensors Batman has installed on Arkham, but Batman would never abandon a mission in the middle like this."Are you sure this is a good idea?" He also knows Dick isn't Batman, but _still._ It feels good to be reminded of that. Wally feels his chest warm up and the heat keeps moving up until it reaches his cheeks and what? It looks like he's blushing or something and _he is not._

"Wait I'm not finished. Surveillance's off and we're going to patrol, but..." Robin raises a finger to the redhead's face and Wally considers trying to bite it off, but gets distracted by Robin's never-ending grin." Since it's Halloween, let's go as each other."

"Oh, no, dude, my Robin's costume's at my house, in Central." Wally facepalms, but he's ready to run all the way back to get it, his excitement growing by the second.

"Nah, getting our Halloween costumes would take too long. Let's just exchange ours." Dick shrugs and points to a place hidden by bushes.

There's another alarm going off in Wally's head saying this is a bad bad _bad_ idea, but he ignores it and follows the brunet.

"Sure. Can you imagine the look on the criminal's face when they see a different Robin? One who's fast and pretty amazing and _pretty pretty?_ Priceless!"

"Pffff, Kid Dork, you wish you had my skills." Robin laughs and pulls the protection goggles off his friend's face. He looks around, scanning the area for intruders, and then takes his mask off, replacing it for the goggles. The blue of his eyes are erased as soon as he activates the night vision and it all takes five seconds, tops, but time's relative for a speedster and the seconds turn to minutes, the minutes turn to hours and Wally _looks_ at the boy wonder's eyes and feels his heart go crazy.

He shouldn't be looking, he knows he shouldn't be using his power to be a creep and look at his friend's eyes even him knowing, and when Dick turns to look at him, everything falls back to normal speed. Wally feels horribly ashamed and self conscious for a whole second before he realizes Dick's smiling and he's hit with the sudden realization that Dick knows he's been staring. Dick knows and he doesn't mind because they're best friends and Dick trusts him enough to go against Batman's orders, he trusts him enough to reveal his secret ID and Wally's smile grows so big it hurts the sides of his cheeks.

xxx

Wally wakes up in the next morning to breakfast in bed and Barry and Iris smiling at him, from the door, and he knows something's very wrong.

"Oh, god, what's happening?" He has all the waffles in his mouth, but he still manages to ask. " Are you dying? Am I dying? Who's dying?"

"Wally, honey, it's okay." Iris sits on the bed next to him and squeezes his hand. "No one's dying."

"But you're probably in mortal danger." Barry says and laughs. "Batman's bound to kill you when he finds out."

Wally pales on the spot. He and Robin weren't very discreet the night before; they've stopped five robberies and patrolled Gotham from north to south, but he naively thought that the Bat would take, at least twenty four hours to gather the evidence of what's happened, he naively thought it would take longer for _the world's greatest detective_ to find pictures or even videos recorded by civilians of him dressed as Robin hanging out in Gotham, playing with the cape and yelling _"I am the night"_ like the big loser he is.

"Batman's not going to kill you. No one's going to kill you." Iris reassures him, but when she turns to Barry, she gives him a stare so cold it would make Captain Cold jealous. The stare melts away in a second, though, when she turns back to her nephew. "We want you to know we're proud of you and that we both love you very much.

"Uh, thanks, aunt I." Wally has no idea of what's going on and he desperately wants to know, but he can't just ask them. Iris looks happy and he can't take it away from her.

"I just wish you had come to us first. Iris said she's always known, but I didn't." Barry's expression softens. "But now I guess it makes sense. And I get it, I mean, I know this was hard for you. We just want you to know that we'll support you every step of the way, okay, because whatever makes you happy, makes us happy."

"Kay." Wally takes a deep breath because everyone forgot to tell him he's dying, but he is, that's the only explanation. "But can you give me a minute, this is...umm, this is a lot and I need to be by myself, I just..."

"Sure, honey." Iris gets up and gives his hand a last squeeze. "Call us if you need anything, okay?"

The door closes behind them and Wally's calling Dick.

"DUDE! I need you to hack into my medicals files because there's something really wrong with me. I don't mean to frighten you or anything, but I'm probably dying. I had breakfast in bed today, Rob! Uncle B and Aunt I brought me breakfast and told me they loved me and I'm dying, ain't I? Oh, god, just say it already and do it quickly because I can't take anymore of not knowing, except I kind of always did? I mean, it's because of the Flash experiment, isn't it? I'm slower than uncle B and I always thought I would get faster with time, but what if I did something wrong, I could have miscalculated or something and now my power's all wrong and _mycellsaredeterioratingorsomethingand_...

"Wally, hey, slow down, dude." Dick cuts him off, feeling the panic on his best friend's voice grow with every word out of his mouth. "It's okay, just take a deep breath. You're not dying, trust me."

"Really?" Breathing is hard. "Do you promise you're not lying to me?"

"I'd never lie to you, dude. Of course I promise." Dick's voice is calm and soft and it makes everything easy.

"Thanks, man." After some minutes of just listening to Dick breathe on the other end, Wally feels well enough to resume their conversation. "I'm sorry I freaked out on you like that."

"Don't apologize. That's what friends are for, right?" Dick goes, but then pauses, as if considering whether he should say something and Wally tries not to freak out all over again. "Also, boyfriends."

"What?" Wally probably misheard him or something so it's okay.

"Have you watched or read the news today, KF?

"Which news?" Wally goes for his laptop and begins typing.

"All of them."

He immediately finds what Dick meant because there are pictures of them everywhere. It's all from last night, they have each other costumes on and the redhead wants to kick himself for not paying any attention to civilian's cellphones and cameras. In the first photo, Dick is laughing at how tight Robin costume fits on Wally, in the second one, they're highfiving and smiling at each other and the headlines goes from "from friends to lovers" to "puppy love."

Wally tries really hard not to _die_ and keeps going through the links, opening them in different tabs. In another photo, there's some unconscious criminals handcuffed near them and they're hugging. Wally remembers this moment, they weren't hugging; He had tripped on the cape and Robin caught him before he could fall on his face and there was nothing romantic about it, except it looks like there was. They're close, their faces are close and they are _hugging._

"Is this a joke?" The panic is daring to come back, full force, but Wally makes himself calm down because maybe it is a joke, a stupid prank and he just needs to keep investigating further in order to find the ' lol jk' gifs.

"Yeah, I know." Dick replies and he seems calm and collected and _how._ "Word of advice: Don't go on tumblr."

"Shit." _Shit._ "Fucking shit, Dick, I'm sorry, I never meant for this to... I don't know why they would think we're, uh..." Dating? A couple? He can't even say it, but he can't stop thinking about it.

"Hey, don't you apologize for this, Walls. This is amazing!"

"What?" Wally definitely misheard him this time.

"Dude, they believe we're dating! The whole world believes we're dating! Look, we've been blessed by a one in a lifetime opportunity to prank _everyone,_ and by everyone, I mean every single person on the planet. It can't get more whelmed than that. Come on, dude, let's be pretend boyfriends, it's going to be so fun. I already got the whole thing planned." Dick's laughing and Wally laughs with him without even realizing it, because most of the times it's impossible not to. Dick's laugh is contagious and beautiful and Wally loses himself in it before he remembers that finding a guy's laugh beautiful is gay and now everyone thinks he's gay and he's not. He likes girls, he likes M'Gann, Black Canary, Wonder Woman and even Artemis, despite how annoying she can be. He can't be gay.

 _I didn't raise a gay son._ He hears his father's voice and shrinks.

"Wally? Hey, dude, are you there?" Dick calls him back to reality. "Come on, it's going to be fun, what do you say?"

"Sure, fun." Wally replies and feels like crying. "It's going to be very... fun." He realizes he's already crying when this voice breaks into a sob.

"Dude, are you okay? Wally, what..."

"I have to go, Dick, talk to you later." He ends the call and throws his cellphone away as if it could burn him.

It breaks against the wall and the noise calls Barry back to the room. He kneels in front of his nephew in literally a second. Iris takes a few more seconds, but she eventually arrives.

"Wally, Wally, hey. It's okay." The blonde man pulls him to a hug and tries not to be hurt by how Wally flinches away from him.

Iris sits on the bed next to him and begins drawing soothing circles on her nephew's back, with one hand. With her free hand, she pets him on the head, exactly like she did when Wally was a kid and the redhead feels himself break down.

"I'm sorry." He cries. " I'm sorry I didn't want to..."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Wally, everything's okay. We love you. Never forget that, we love you."

Wally wants to yell at them, to question this statement or at least demand an explanation because how could they love him when not even his parents could? He wants to run and run and run, but Iris's still petting him and his body isn't responding. He stops fighting and lets them hug him because he's weak, because he's weak and selfish and because:

"I love you guys too."

Barry and Iris hold him while he cries.


	2. Chapter 2

Wally wakes to the sound of someone knocking. He gets up, opens the door without even thinking, and when nothing greets him, he realizes the person, whoever it may be, is knocking _on the window._ Something twist in his stomach and he's too sleepy to pretend it's not a hint of fear. Wally rationally knows he shouldn't be scared, because he's a superhero, he has superspeed, and he lives with The Flash. But the thought of danger following him _home_ is terrifying. So he's terrified for half a second until he remembers he's best friend with boy - I don't need doors, I'm an acrobat with freaking ninja training - wonder.

He turns around and sees Robin waving at him from outside of his window, standing over a tree branch like it's the easiest thing in the world. Maybe to him it is. Wally rushes to his side and opens the window to let him in.

"Dude. What are you doing? It's..." His hand automatically goes for his cell phone on the table by the bed, and feels very stupid when he remembers he broke it earlier today. He looks over to the clock on the wall, but it's too dark to see anything. "It's late."

"You weren't answering your phone." Robin replies, poker face on and Wally realizes he's in uniform.

"Phone's dead. I'm sorry, but again, why are you Robin right now? Were you patrolling? Dude, school's in... It's probably in a few hours."

"You weren't answering your phone." Robin says again, but his face softens. "Anything could have happened to you and I couldn't risk it. Better be safe than sorry, right?"

"Batman's paranoia's rubbing off on you, Rob. I'm fine." Wally smiles and tries to shrug it off.

"Are you really?" Robin turns his head just so and Wally can feel his stare from behind the mask. He suddenly feels very aware of the fact that he's in his flash PJs, his hair's a mess, and Robin can probably see it all because he's Batman's sidekick. Batman must have found a way to add night vision to the lens or something. "You didn't sound very _traught_ earlier."

Wally runs a hand over his hair, trying his best to force it into submission, and looks over to the floor. He doesn't know what he can possibly say to that. On one hand, he doesn't want to lie to his best friend and he _can't_ lie to his best friend, because he sucks at lying and Dick would most definitely be able to tell. On the other hand, it's stupid, the way he freaked out before, it's really stupid. He doesn't want to worry Dick with his stupid things and he doesn't want to talk about his dad. Ever.

"I was worried about you." Dick's the one who breaks the silence. He takes the mask off and Wally feels better already. His eyes had already adjusted to the lack of light and he's able to see the outline of his friend's face.

"I'm sorry." The speedster says, but looks away again.

"No, Wally." Dick stops for a moment, and so does Wally's heart. What does he mean by 'no'? He's not accepting Wally's apology? He's mad and he'll probably leave and... "I'm the one who's sorry." He adds, and Wally releases the air he didn't realize he was holding.

"What are you sorry for, dude?"

"For the fake boyfriends idea. It was stupid. I mean, I don't want to force you into anything that makes you uncomfortable or upset. We don't have to do it."

"Yeah, I know, we don't have to, but we could." Wally tries on a smile.

"Wally." Dick starts, but the redhead stops him with a raised hand.

"It's cool. The idea kind of freaked me out at first and, sorry about that, that's twice I've freaked out on you over nothing." Wally can see his best friend openning his mouth to tell him _it's not nothing_ , so he talks over him. "But I'm okay now."

Robin narrows his eyes and he's giving the redhead _the look._ The one that says _Wallace Rudolph West, if you're lying to me right now I'll make sure you'll never eat Alfred's deserts again in your life._ But the thing is, Wally isn't lying, or, at least he thinks he's not. He does feel better.

"And it's going to be super fun to watch everyone react to us being a couple, right?" Wally tries another smile, but it soon falters. He can tell by the way Dick bites on his lower lip that his friend is still on suspicious mode. It's sickening the way he can almost see the wheels turning in his best friend's head.

Dick isn't dumb, he didn't buy the "phone's down" excuse. He's angry for an entire second because Wally, his best friend, his teammate, his... Wally lied to him, but then he just lets it go.

The boy wonder could push him, could force it out of him, he really could. This is how he deals with criminals, when he's looking for information. But he's not dealing with criminals now, he's dealing with his best friend, and said best friend, judging by how nervous and awkward he's acting, obviously regrets it and feels like crap.

 _He'll tell me when he's ready._ There's a bunch of reasons why one lies or keeps a secret from the people they love; the majority of the reasons are bad, evil reasons, but not all of them. Truth be told, Dick took a long time to tell Wally his secret identity, and he only did when the speedster stopped asking for it. He only felt comfortable enough to share it when Wally assured him that a name wasn't important, and that they would remain friends no matter what.

Maybe that's his turn to make Wally feel _safe._

"Yeah, I guess." Dick grabs Wally's hands and squeezes them. "And I'm up for anything, bro. It's your call."

Wally's heart races. It's so loud he's afraid Dick will hear it. He closes his eyes and tries not to think about the fact that they're holding hands. He tries not to think about how holding the hand of your male best friend's _gay._ He fights the impulse to pull his hands back because maybe it is gay, but it can also be okay. It could be both.

Uncle B and aunt I say it's okay, that it's normal. Wally wants/needs/tries to believe them, but It's still a lot confusing. He doesn't know if he likes girl or boys, or girls and boys, but whatever the verdict is, Barry and Iris won't be mad at him. They'll be proud and happy, and that's everything Wally ever wanted to make them. He still doesn't understand how they can be okay with it, but the support and trust he gets from both of them makes him bold.

"So, _babe."_ He's feeling bold, so he goes for it. He knows Dick was excited to prank everyone into thinking they were dating and he doesn't want to be a spoil sport. Maybe it's going to be fun. Maybe it won't change anything, and it's going to end up being just another funny story, - like that one time they exchanged Artemis's arrows for Roy's, - and they'll laugh about it later, while they're playing videogames or having snacks. Or maybe, it will change things. Hopefully for the better. He may even find out something about himself in the process. "Where are you taking me on our first date?"

By the sound of Dick's laughter, he wasn't expecting the petname. Wally mentally high-fives himself, because surprising the other is something he rarely gets to do. Dick's the one who keeps surprising him with the exceptional ninja training, and with how much the kid trusts him with his identity, his story, his life. Also, making Dick laugh is one of this favorite things to do, so, double-win.

There's no tension between them anymore, no suspicion or lies. There's just them and it's _amazing._

"How come this is on me?" Dick lets go of Wally's hands and takes his to his heart in a dramatic gesture. "I'll be the one paying for everything too, ain't I?"

"Of course you are. Dude, I'm only dating you for your money, isn't it obvious?"

Dick laughs again, and it's so pretty Wally can't help but think that pretending to be in love with him won't be so hard.

xxx

Wally had spent night after night awake, trying to come up with answers to the questions he was sure the team would ask, and he practised quite a few in front of the mirror. But it all turned out to be in vain because everyone on the team was incredibly understanding and supportive and not really surprised by this turn of events. M'Gann even said she _shipped_ them, and Wally's curious about what it means, but Robin forbids him from ever googling that expression. He trusts Rob's judgement on this so he lets it go.

He was the one surprised because dating Robin isn't hard at all, it's a lot like being best friends with him. They soon fall back into a routine; they arrive at the Mountain together, call each other stupid petnames, and take their usual playful banter to a whole other level with giggling and touching. They've always leaned on each other, being around the same age and the firsts sidekicks to league members, they've trusted and supported one another; now the leaning's physical, the once-accidental touches have become not-so-accidental-anymore, but it comes to them just as easily.

Their one-on-one training exercises turn into tickles fights. Movie nights turn into sleepovers, and sleepovers turn into cuddle fests. Robin falls asleep, head on his lap or just plainly _on top of him_ after long exhausting patrols. Even when no one's around, because in Robin's own words, he's too tired to care. Wally never has the heart to refuse or to wake him because, come on, the kid's Batman's sidekick, he's lucky if he gets a five hours sleep in between patrols, the team and being a mathlete. Instead Wally pets his hair and it's all very easy.

Having to deal with the press is another matter entirely. There are people talking about them on the news, on talk shows, and on gossip colums at the most prestigious newspapers. Everybody has an opinion, and a lot of people have the same opinion as his dad. There are mean comments and facebook pages demanding they retire because they're not being a good example for children, and _this_ is hard. It's so hard he actually considers doing it. Before remembering that it's all just a prank, that it's fake and he isn't really gay, - or is he, - Before Barry and Iris force him out of bed with breakfast food, hugs, and "we love you"s.

But the hardest thing he has ever had to do since they started fake dating is, by far, to control his impulse to run ten laps around the world when Dick coughs and says:

"So. Bruce called me today."

"Cool." He takes a deep breath. "Should I kill myself now or wait til he gets here?"

"Chill, dude." Robin laughs at him. They're alone at Mount Justice, so they can talk without fear of being overheard. "He was surprisingly okay with it. I mean, he wants to talk to you as soon as he gets back, but we can rehearse what to say to him. Don't worry."

Killing himself now has definitely some perks. He won't need to rehearse, he won't need to see Bruce or talk to Bruce or _get killed_ by Bruce.

Dick sees the eye roll and goes:

"I'm serious, KF. He really was okay and, according to his own words, not at all surprised by this predicament. Sure, he expressed concern about us being in a relationship and working together on the team. And he thinks I'm too young to be in a relationship, which is absurd because you know, I am the one who gets to decide when I'm ready to date, not him, but that's not the point." Dick shrugs and looks away. "The point is: we fooled him. Dude, we fooled Batman."

"Wow." Wally doesn't know what to say to that. "That's very... traught." Is he using it right? Or is this more of a 'whelming' situation?

"Yeah." Dick looks away and Wally wonders why they aren't as happy as they should be. They fooled the team, they fooled uncle Barry and Aunt Iris. They even fooled Batman, It doesn't get better than this and yet they're not. "So, what do you think about rehearsing what we're going to say to him when he gets back? We need to coordinate out stories."

Wally doesn't want to do this.

"Okay."

"I'll be Bruce and you be you." Dick laughs at him, but then clears his throat and adjusts an imaginary tie. "Wally. How long have you and Dick been... an item?"

Wally really doesn't want to do this.

"Well, it's, hum, been a while, but not too long. I'm sure Dick wouldn't keep such an important thing from you for long, and you can trust me on this because, you see, I'd never lie to you, sir, because, one, I'm a terrible liar and two, I'm really terrified right now."

Dick's fighting against the urge to laugh at Wally's pathetic attempts because he's determined not to break character.

"So was it a spur of the moment thing?"

"Hmmm, I think it would be correct to say that it was, kind of...Well, yes." Wally mumbles and looks over to Dick, to find the boy wonder shaking his head from side to side. "I mean no." He quickly corrects himself. "It definitely wasn't a spur of the moment thing because, you see, I... I always had... feelings for him." He glances at Dick again, but gets no reaction this time. His best friend's face has gone blank. "And it took me a while to sort out these feelings because, well, I'm an idiot. And because my dad's a dick." The words are coming out and he can't stop himself. "So, this whole time I was trying not to have feelings for him because I didn't want dad to be angry at me, I, I wanted to make him proud, but I just. I couldn't help myself. " Wally can feel his eyes tearing up, but forces himself to keep going. "Robin's smart and brave and loyal and he makes the nerdiest, funniest jokes ever. He can always make me smile, no matter how shitty the day's been. Just talking to him, makes it all better. I mean, he inspires me, as a hero and as a person, because I got to meet Dick Grayson too and Dick's surprise, surprise, also really amazing. He's honest and caring and he's a mathlete because being smart and a really cool hacker wasn't enough for him, he had to go and be a genius too. And that's really unfair to me because, you know, I'm a loser and I thought I couldn't love him more than I already did, but..." Wally stops his ranting to finally breathe and then realizes what he's just said. He gets up from the sofa and is ready to run, but finds Dick's blocking his way to the zeta tubes.

"Wally." Dick says and takes a step closer. The redhead takes two large steps back but stops as his back meets the wall. Their eyes meet and when did he take his sunglasses off? "Wally, can I kiss you?"

"Yeah." He answers, before he can think about it.

Dick takes another step closer and their lips meet. The kiss is gentle and reluctant and _stupid_ because Wally's kissed people before. He knows how to do this and yet, he's frozen in place, all his muscles tense and itching to run.

Dick's hands are hanging on the air between them, in an awkward 'what do I do with my arms' desperation and Wally hates everything about it. He hates how uncomfortable the whole situation is because it was never supposed to be this way between them. And he especially hates how he's just making it worse by not moving. He's ruining everything because he can't get over himself, he can't get over the fact that he's kissing a boy.

"Wally." Dick calls, voice small. He takes a step back, ending the contact, and Wally suddenly realizes that he's not kissing a boy, he's kissing Dick Grayson. Dick Grayson, his best friend since _always,_ and it gets easier.

His hands find the boy wonder's neck and pulls him closer, ending the horrible, terrible gap between them. Wally sees Dick's blues eyes fall to the speedster's lips for a moment before he closes them.

Wally kisses him. Kisses him again and again, until Dick's lips part _just so_ and he's kissing him back with the same want. Dick's tongue tastes sweet, it tastes like getting home after a night of insane trick or treating with a bag full of his favorite candy, it tastes like Christmas mornings and, no, scratch that. It tastes _better,_ it beats everything on his favorite things list. It tastes so good Wally will never get enough of it.

Dick's just found out what to do with his hands and uses them to touch Wally _everywhere._ His fingers are blindly searching for every inch of skin they can find because they're kissing again. Wally takes pity on him and moves his body, pressing it tightly to the other's; the movement's tender, but precise and the redhead thinks he has everything under control until Dick moans against his ear and he just fucking melts into the other's tight embrace.

"Oh, for God's sake!" There's suddenly a third voice in the room and they break apart quickly, Wally shielding Dick so he can put his sunglasses back on. "Just get a room!" Artemis rolls her eyes and storms off.

They were so caught up on the moment they didn't even hear her being announced on Mt. Justice. It's embarrassing.

"So." Dick waits for her to leave and tries on a smile. "This is awkward."

"Yeah, but did you see her face? Priceless!" Wally tries to reciprocate, but the smile tastes wrong and he tells himself that he's not going to cry. "So funny. I mean, that's why we're doing this whole act, isn't it? Yeah, that was great, kudos on us for being amazing actors. " Oh, god, he's beggining to cry, he needs to get out. Now. "See you later, Rob." He could have taken the zeta tubes, but he chooses to run instead.

He runs until he can't anymore.

xxx

The Flash meets him in Monterrey.

If the situation were any different, the redhead would expect a mild scolding about running to another country alone and without any supliments or money, followed by an amused smile and a high five because [i] wow Kid, congratulations on your first international run, just please give me a heads up next time, will ya? [/i]

But Barry just hands him a packpack full of clothes and sits next to him in the alley where he was hiding from civilians. He doesn't say a word and Wally's grateful. They change into their civies behind a dumbster, and Barry takes him around the corner to have dinner.

"Isn't aunt Iris waiting for us to go home?" Wally questions him.

"It's okay, Kid, I told her we'd run late." Barry goes to an empty table and gestures for Wally to sit. "Geez, my spanish's really bad, but, lucky for you, I learned how to ask for everything on the menu in every language there is to know. I even learned a few alien ones because, space happens when you're best friend with a grenn lantern, you know."

Wally can't help the smile that's threatening to take over his entire face. Barry never fails as his hero.

"Now, do I have to tell you again about the danger of taking off without having any food on you?"

"No, uncle B. I promise it's not going to happen again." Wally replies and Barry lets it go. He moves on.

"Do you want to talk about whatever made you take off without having any food on you, then?"

"Oh, god, no. I'd rather you yell at me."

"I'm not your dad, kid." Barry says, and it feels like a knife to the heart. Until Wally realizes that this isn't what Barry means. "You can talk to me about everything. I'll always be there for you."

 _I really wish you were._ Wally thinks, but what he says, instead is: "I had a fight with Dick. It was really stupid."

"Did you guys break up?"

Wally pauses and wonders what is he supposed to say to that. They can't break up because they're not really dating, but he can't just tell uncle B the truth because... Wait, why can't he?

"Oh, god, I need ice cream to have this conversation."

Barry's hand is suddenly up in the air to call for a waiter and when he arrives, Barry tries to order ice cream with only gestures and it's the most ridiculous, embarrassing thing Wally has ever seen. Wally throws his head back and laughs, his entire body shaking, but eventually composes himself just enough to google the spanish word on his phone and help the poor confused waiter.

By the time the ice cream arrives, Wally feels better already and the story comes out easily, in a rush of words. Barry's a good listener and waits patienly for his nephew to finish.

"You need to talk to him, tell him about your feelings."

"Are you kidding me? I can never face him again!" Wally groans and looks away. "And I wouldn't even know what to say to him! I don't know if I'm gay or bi, or pansexual, or... People on the internet say there's, like, a million more sexual orientations I've never even heard about. How can I know what I am if I don't even what I'm feeling."

"Hey, you're young, and nobody expects you to have every little thing figured out. You don't need to label yourself right now, and if you do, you don't need to stick to it for the rest of your life. It's okay to be confused, it's okay to change your mind and then change it back how many times you want." Barry sees that the kid's about to respond, and stops him. "Besides, you just told me what you're feeling, kid. You like him.

"I..." Wally closes his eyes and thinks about Dick's blue eyes, thinks about the soft pressure of Dick's lips brushing against his. He thinks about Dick's arms around him and the feeling of belonging fills him with utter, amazing, _giggly_ happiness. "Yeah, I do." And then it's gone. "But it's all fake. I mean, it's just a prank. He doesn't like me back."

"Wally." Barry takes his hand and squeezes. "He likes you."

"No." Wally takes the hand back. "You can't know that."

"I am 120% sure he likes you and do you want to know why?" Barry doesn't wait for a confirmation. "Because he called me the minute you ran away to tell me you took off without suplements. Because he worries about you, he cares. Wally, the kid defied Batman's order and told you his name and backstory. He trusts you. He may not have romantic feelings for you, but you're his best friend. He definitely likes you."

Wally's heart is beating so loudly he can't even hear himself ask: "He was the one who called you?"

"Yes, and he helped me track you down, but that's not important, Kid. He likes you, he would never do anything to hurt you, never, in a million years, and you know this. He's going to accept you, no matter what, but first you need to accept yourself and, here, I think I can help with that." Barry searches his pockets and finds a carefully folded paper.

"What's this?" Wally quickly takes the paper and asks because anything's preferable than talking about Dick right now.

"It's just a little something someone posted on the Flash fanclub and I printed it."

Wally drops the paper as if it had burned him.

"I'm not at the mood right now to deal with mean anons."

"You need to read it."

"I know I need to learn how to deal with people like that and rise above it because I'm a hero, but can I just not do that today? Please, uncle Barry."

"Kid, I promise it's nothing bad. Just do it, come on, for me?"

Low. Blow.

"Fine." Wally picks the piece of paper up, unfolds it and begins reading it.

 _I don't actually know how to do this. I know everything that there's to know about cars, but computers scare me so I've kept my distance for as long as I could. But this is for a good cause so I'll make an exception. I really hope I'm sending this message to the right place and that it will eventually reach Kid Flash. My name's Jesse Mills, I've lived in Central City all my life and I have a ten years old son. He's very young and he doesn't really understand the words 'gay' or 'straight', but he can already tell he's different from other boys his age. It's been hard for him and for me. He's being bullied at school and I talked to the principal at his school, but, apart from that, I didn't know what else to do. I'm a single dad and I feared I couldn't connect to my own son. The whole thing changed when the news about Kid Flash and Robin went out. I don't think I've ever seen him so happy. He came home from school glowing because Kid Flash was dating a boy, because Kid Flash was just like him and because how cool was that? I've heard some pretty horrible things people are saying about Kid Flash and it makes me sick to my stomach. Fuck all these people. Kid Flash is a hero and it's not only because he fights crime, but because he stands for what is right. It's because he gives my son hope, it's because he makes my Johnny smile and laugh and feel like he belongs. So, thank you, Kid Flash, for your courage and for being you. I would stop now but Johnny wants me to tell you to pretty please never stop being super amazing, kicking butt and dating Robin because Robin is really cute. Also, Flash, if you're reading this, you're cool too._

"Wait, isn't Jesse Mills the mechanic who helped fix aunt I's car this year? Her car broke down on the road to Keystone so she called him and he went to her even though it was raining pretty bad, right?" Wally asks and then speedreads the message six more times because he just can't believe what he's just read. "He arrived even before you did."

"Just because I was busy having my ass handed to me by Grodd at the time." Barry scoffs. "But, yup. That's him. So, Kid, what do you feel about skipping practice and paying Jesse and Johnny a little visit tomorrow after lunch?

"Are you serious?" Wally gapes at him and feels tears swelling up in his eyes, but he doesn't cry. He's too busy smiling and hugging his uncle to do so. "Oh my god, uncle B, I'd love to, this is actually perfect... I... Thank you so much!

xxx

 _Recognized Kid Flash, B03._

Robin clentches his fists the moment he hears his best friend being announced on Mount Justice. Flash had texted him that he had found Wally, that they would take a day off _but, hey, don't worry, Wally's uninjured and he's not mad at you or anything, he just needs some time._ Robin wasn't expecting him back so soon so he's half relieved and half terrified, because he wants/needs/will do anything in his power to fix things between them, but he has no idea how to do that.

"Hey, Wally, how are you?" M'Gann turns to geet him with a big smile, but suddenly freezes on her spot.

"What?" Kid Flash gets worried when he sees Zatanna elbow Artemis on the arm and both giggle. He looks around the room and everyone seems to be staring back at him with looks that vary from confusion to amusement to whatever's happening on Robin's face because Wally's definitely not looking at him. "WHAT?"

"Forgive us for our reaction, my friend." Kaldur steps foward and tries to explain it. "It's just very unusual for you to show up in..."

"You're wearing lipstick." Superboy cuts him off. "Red lipstick."

"Oh." Wally's cheeks are on fire and he's tempted to run away from them the fastest he can, but he doesn't. "I was visiting this kid today. His dad send a message to the Flash fanclub thanking me for, you know, coming out and for being a role model to Johnny. So we stopped by to say hello and they're both really great. I gave Johnny a pigback ride and we played with his superhero toys, but then we found his late mom's make up and we just... played with it? I didn't even realized I still had this on and the Flash didn't wan me about it. Oh my god, this is why he was laughing all the way to the zeta tube, wasn't it?"

"It's nice." Robin suddenly says and all eyes turns to him. Even Wally's. "You look handsome."

Wally's first reaction is to think Robin's mocking him, and he's terrified for the eternity of a second before he realizes that Dick would never do that to him.

"Dude." He takes a deep breath. "I really like you." Dick trusted him with his identity and it's only fair that Wally trusts him with his own big secret too, but as soon as he says it, he feels bad. It feels petty and small compared to what Dick confided on him, but he then shakes these thoughts off. He's not going to make little of his feelings anymore because that's what his father wanted him to do. His dad wanted him to get over it in favor of fitting his own sick standarts of what being normal is, and Wally refuses to do it anymore. "So, do you want to date me for real? Because I want to date you for real." He's telling Dick this because he trusts him. He trusts Dick not to run away and hate him forever, he trusts Dick with his feelings and his happiness and, in some sense, with his life. He feels safe.

"Yes." Dick's answer comes quick because he doesn't need to think about it. He already thought about it, he hasn't stopped thinking about it since the media outed them.

Wally's smile is so big it hurts the side of his cheeks, but he just can't stop because _Dick wants to date him._ Before he can go to his _totally not fake anymore_ boyfriend and kiss him to death, Zatanna coughs to call his attention, and he remembers they're at Mount Justice, and that they're not alone.

"Wait? Weren't you guys dating for real? What's happening?"

"Well, we weren't really dating. The media got it wrong and we went along with it. We pretended to be boyfriends as a prank, to mess around with you guys, but in the end it wasn't really fun, was it?" Dick shrugs.

"No." Wally answers before any of the others can. "This prank sucked, man. You were a terrible fake boyfriend and you better take me somewhere really nice on our first real date if you have any hopes of being forgiven."

"Considering any place with food reaches your expectations of _somewhere nice_ I think I'll be okay." Robin laughs, holds his hands and then says. "We'll be okay."

And Wally believes him.

xxx

 **A/N:** yes, I have a kink. And that kink is all about wally west crossdressing. Just imagining him wearing lipstick makes me weak on my knees. And I bet Dick feels the same way ;)

Hope you enjoyed the fic, anyways. Feel free to drop by my askbox on tumblr anytime if you wat to chat about birdflash.


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